Day 81: Strawberries

Strawberries are the epitome of that childlike mindset that if it's tasty, it can't possibly be good for you. Because strawberries are yummy, but people used to tell me that they weren't as healthy as, say, brussell sprouts. Based on my own research, in fact, strawberries have an exceptional amount of antioxidants. In any case, no one eats strawberries for antioxidants, nor should you because that takes away from the fun. I also hear about strawberries as an example of indulgence that contributes to global harm. Has anyone ever complained to you, in the context of a world of consumerism leading to excessive transportation and global warming externalities, that "as a society, we require things like strawberries in the wintertime". So a bad rep for these fruits. But point taken, strawberries in the wintertime aren't that tasty (I think that's the point of these anti-consumerism activists, right?)

Strawberries have been in season for a few weeks already, and the season is going to stretch maybe into mid July if we're lucky. For the rest of the year, we get them from places like California. They get picked early on, ripen in trucks, and then arrive in Ontario. The species are genetically selected for size, shininess and to withstand the harsh treck diagonally across the continent. But when they're in season, they picked at their prime, ripening on the bush and letting the sugars all blossom naturally. The best strawberries are the small ones, slightly darker in colour, not shiny, but fresh because that's where all the sugar comes from. The big fat shiny ones are watery in their juices, slightly sour, and one dimensional in flavour. They're about $5 per quart (about 20 strawberries) or sometimes $6 per quart for smaller strawberries, but for smaller ones, you get more because even though it's still a quart, you can fit more strawberries in them because they're smaller and they fill more of the empty spaces. And the smaller ones are sometimes better. I've seen these smaller ones called "field strawberries" here... wondering if they're actually a different variety?

You usually should wash them before eating them because of the pesticides, but eating a few unwashed won't kill you, unless you are a bug.

On Strawberries (from wikipedia)

The strawberry is, in technical terms, an aggregate accessory fruit, meaning that the fleshy part is derived not from the plant's ovaries but from the "receptacle" that holds the ovaries. Each apparent "seed" (achene) on the outside of the fruit is actually one of the ovaries of the flower, with a seed inside it. In both culinary and botanical terms, the entire structure is considered a fruit.

The first garden strawberry was grown in France during the late 18th century. Prior to this, wild strawberries and cultivated selections from wild strawberry species were the common source for the fruit. Other names for wild strawberries include  Alpine Strawberry, Fraises des Bois, Wild Strawberry, and European Strawberry.

Day 80: Shell Peas

Shelling peas are in season now and you can get them at farmer's markets or grocery stores. They are these fat peas that you peel by hand and eat raw. This was a sort of critical point in the summer for me as a kid because that's when summer vacation started. As a kid, I used to hide in the neighbour's garden (these plant grew tall enough that a kid can effectively hide in them) and just eat and eat and eat, and throw the empty shells on the ground. The benefit was the oxygen from the mass of leaves combined with the shade, made for an escape from the summer heat. Some of them are super sweet, some of them a bit more neutral. They're a bit crunchy and the process of shelling, eating, shelling, eating... just the repetitiveness of it is meditating. It's a bit like eating edamame, but not cooked and no salt, and you eat them immediately after being picked.

I got the ones in the picture from a farmer's market, a quart of them (~50 peas in total) was $2.50 and it took me about 20 minutes to eat the whole thing because I didn't even realize I was eating them so fast until I looked back into the bag and realized it was all just empty shells. The best way to eat them (in private of course), it to crack open the shell and then dig your mouth into them and eat all of the seeds in one gulp. A close-second is to pick them out one by one. Either way, enjoy! Third best way is to collect all the seeds, and cook them then put them into salads, pasta, or whatever.

Day 79: Soft Shell Crab

Doesn't that photo look appetizing? About as appetizing as biting into a fried spider.

Unfortunately, this one was a bit old and had probably been sitting around for too long. So I'll have to try again at a later time. But the meat was tasty - tastes like sweet crab and the shell and little legs are pretty much, soft, which should have contasted with the crunchy batter had my dish been fresh. But loads of mayonnaise pretty much hides everything... oh wait, sorry it doesn't.

On Soft Shell Crabs: Soft-shell crab is a culinary term for crabs which have recently molted their old exoskeleton and are still soft. In the United States, the main species is the "blue crab", which appears in markets from April to September. In Japan, various species are used to make sushi, including the Japanese blue crab or the shore swimming crab. In Italy, the soft-shell of the common Mediterranean crab is a delicacy typical.

Day 78: Collard Greens

Collard Greens are maybe a kid's worst dream. Green (very green), potentially brown, they're mushy, they're  bitter, and did I say it before, oh, they're green. But I had these bad boys at a show in New Orleans and they were pretty damn good. Too brown for my likes, but that comes with the steam table I guess.

I usually prefer them, though cooked with something smoked and fatty, like bacon or ham hock.

On collard greens

Collard greens are various loose-leafed vegetables, from the same family as kale, spring greens, cabbage and broccoli. The plant is grown mainly in Brazil, Portugal, the southern United States, many parts of Africa, Montenegro, Spain and in India. The name "collard" is a shortened form of the word "colewort" (cabbage plant).


Collard greens are a staple vegetable of Southern U.S. cuisine. They are often prepared with other similar green leaf vegetables, such as kale, turnip greens, spinach, and mustard greens in "mixed greens". Typical seasonings when cooking collards can consist of smoked and salted meats (ham hocks, smoked turkey drumsticks, pork neckbones, fatback or other fatty meat).

Day 77: Cheese Mankeesh

Cheese Mankeesh: A soft bread  that bends and folds as soft as a piece of pita bread, but with a crispiness of being straight from a hot oven. It tastes a bit like a nice, buttery pizza. One of my favorite $3.99 snacks (incl tax!) on my way home from work at Paramount Middle Eastern Restaurant.

On Mankeesh (from wikipedia): Manakish, also manaqish, manaeesh or manakeesh (Arabic: manāqīsh) is a popular middle eastern food consisting of dough topped with thyme, cheese, or ground meat. Similar to a pizza, it can be sliced or folded, and it can either be served for breakfast or lunch. The word manaqish is the plural of the Arabic word manqūshah, meaning that after the dough has been rolled flat, it is pressed by the fingertips to create little dips for the topping to lie in.

Traditionally, one would bake dough in a communal oven in the morning, to provide the family with their daily bread needs, and would prepare smaller portions of dough with different toppings for breakfast at this time.

Day 76: Taylor Fladgates Late Bottle Vintage Port

One of the most incredible drinks to have at the end of a meal, that warms up the tummy, makes your head slightly fuzzy, but is nice and sweet on the tongue, and can go with cakes or creams and cuts right through that fat. Probably doesn't eliminate the fat, but at the least, makes you feel less heavy.

As the reader may know, port is a sweet dessert wine. But this bottle had an interesting mushroomyness to it. Its nice and warm on the back of the throat, and an almost instantaneous buzz as the warm fumes rise straight to your brain. At less than $20 a bottle, a real steal, especially considering in about 3 years when it gets to that magical 10 year mark, it would be double the price.

On Port:

Port wine (also known as Vinho do Porto, Porto, and often simply port) is a Portuguese fortified wine produced exclusively in the Douro Valley in the northern provinces of Portugal. It is typically a sweet, red wine, often served as a dessert wine.

Fortified wines in the style of port are also produced outside Portugal, most notably in Australia, South Africa, Canada, India, Argentina, and the United States. Under European Union Protected Designation of Origin guidelines, only the product from Portugal may be labelled as port or Porto.

Port is produced from grapes and the wine produced is then fortified by the addition of a neutral grape spirit known as aguardente in order to stop the fermentation, leaving residual sugar in the wine, and to boost the alcohol content. The wine is then stored and aged, often in barrels stored in a cave before being bottled.

The wine received its name, "port", in the latter half of the 17th century from the seaport city of Porto at the mouth of the Douro River, where much of the product was brought to market or for export to other countries in Europe.

Late Bottled Vintage (this particular bottle), as the name suggests, is bottled later, remaining in wood between four and six years. This is in contrast to Vintage Port which is kept in wood for only twenty months or so before being transferred to the bottle where it will continue to age. Therefore, Late Bottle Vintage was developed as a high quality but more affordable and immediately drinkable alternative to Vintage port to be enjoyed by the glass on everyday occasions. Late Bottle Vintage is the most popular premium Port style in both England and Canada,

On Taylor Fladgate:

Taylor, Fladgate, & Yeatman (often simply Taylor Fladgate) is one of the largest port wine houses. Founded in 1692 in Vila Nova de Gaia, Portugal by Job Bearsley, becoming Taylor, Fladgate, & Yeatman when Joseph Taylor, John Alexander Fladgate and Morgan Yeatman formed a partnership in 1838, it is also one of the oldest. The house ships almost all types of port including vintage, tawny, ruby, late-bottled vintage, and white. The house invented the style of late-bottled vintage port. Taylor Fladgate's vintage ports are some of the most sought-after and expensive ports in the world.

Day 75: Mezzo Mondo Wine

When I look for a nice, simple, sipping wine at an amazing price, I almost always go for this one - MezzoMondo brand Negroamaro Salento. You're not going to find anything bold or loud. You may even find it a little too tanic. But for under $8 a bottle, all that doesn't even cross your mind because it's just so far off the radar.

Why do I like cheap wines? Because it plays second or third fiddle to the conversation, it's something you don't even notice - it's neither fantastic nor terrible. But THAT'S the way I likkke it baby.

On Negroamaro
Negroamaro, also Negro amaro, is a red wine grape variety native to southern Italy. It is grown almost exclusively in Puglia and particularly in Salento, the peninsula which can be visualised as the “heel” of Italy. The grape can produce wines very deep in color. Wines made from Negroamaro tend to be very rustic in character, combining perfume with an earthy bitterness.

Although 100% varietal wines are produced, Negroamaro is more commonly used as the dominant component of a blend including such varieties as Malvasia Nera, Sangiovese or Montepulciano.

Day 74: Jaipur India Pale Ale

I am a sucker for a good India Pale Ale (IPA). This really is a well balanced one - the fruits, hops, bitter, sweet... nothing overpowering. Grapefruit flavours, a hoppiness that doesn't get you high, but a round bitterness that hugs your cheeks. A caramel sort of appears at the end, like a ghost. The price is a touch higher than Ontario craft IPAs, something like $4.50 for a 500mL bottle. But well worth it.

On Thornbridge Breweries:

With over 200 industry and consumer awards over the past 7 years their beer continues to highlight the importance of traditional ale in the British pub. Thornbridge branded beers were first brewed in early 2005 in the UK and now operate from two brewery sites.

On Jaipur IPA:

From a rought count on the website, this beer has won 88 of the 200 awards. The website describes it as: "A citrus dominated India Pale Ale, its immediate impression is soft and smooth yet builds to a crescendo of massive hoppiness accentuated by honey. An enduring, bitter finish."

On India Pale Ales (from wikipedia and about.com)

IPA descends from the earliest pale ales of the 14th century. A pale ale is an ale which has been brewed from pale malt.

But in the early 1700s Britain had a problem. Troops and British citizens living in India as part of the colonial rule did not have access to good British ale and any attempts to ship the malt British ales to them resulted in spoilage. India Pale Ale, or IPA, was the solution. The generous amount of hops in this brew protected it from the heat and motion of the British sailing ships of the day.

IPA could have faded into history but a fateful shipwreck in 1827 wrecked and damaged some of the casks of IPA on board. The casks were sold there in England and the unusually hoppy ale was a big hit. Soon the new brew was in demand and a new style.

Lots of pale ale and a bit of crystal malt give this styles enough malt sweetness to stand up to the demanding hops. A good IPA will have a pleasantly hoppy aroma. The flavor should be equally hoppy with plenty of balancing malty sweetness.The overwhelming hops flavor of this brew make it a tough beer to pair foods with. Almost any sort of spicing clashes with the hoppy character. Roasted meats can work with a subtle barbecue sauce. Many prefer this beer alone so as to savor the hops.

Day 73: Kettle Corn (Popcorn with salt and sugar)

Something so simple, but something so amazing is popcorn. And we're not talking about microwaveable variety with plastic butter an a million carcinogens.

I like to use air popper at home ($12 at Walmart), which is nice because there's no clean up, and no need to monitor is as it goes. And it comes out nice and fluffy. And it's cheap. The same $1 bag of microwaveable popcorn is probably ~5 cents if you pop it on your own (I don't buy name brand popcorn - I generally try to avoid name brand anything for that matter). And if you don't feel like eating a whole bag, you can only pop a little bit. And you don't end up getting a burned by steaming air when you open it. So many reasons to pop it yourself.

I like to add butter, salt (ground up in a mortar and pestle), and some sugar. Why grind up the salt? Because it sticks better to the popcorn. The same technique can be used for fries or chips.

The best part is mopping up the butter on the bottom of the bowl with the last few remaining kernals so that it's little soggy bits on your fingers.

ON KETTLE CORN (FROM WIKIPEDIA)

Kettle corn was introduced to the United States in the 18th century. It is referenced in the diaries of Dutch settlers in Pennsylvania circa 1776. It was a treat sold at fairs or consumed at other festive occasions. The corn, oil, sugar and salt together is cooked in a cast iron kettle, or possibly a Dutch oven, this produces a noticeable sweet crust on the popcorn, however this method requires constant stirring or the sugar will burn, or a batch of plain popped corn can be sweetened with sugar or honey before adding salt. The combination was widely popular in the early 19th century but fell from wide usage during the 20th century.

In the early 21st century, kettle corn has made something of a comeback in America, especially at 19th-century living history events. As of the 21st century, it is cooked and sold at fairs and flea markets throughout the United States, especially art and craft shows.

Popcorn, or popping corn, is corn (maize) which expands from the kernel and puffs up when heated. Corn is able to pop because its kernels have a hard moisture-sealed hull and a dense starchy interior. This allows pressure to build inside the kernel until an explosive "pop" results. Some strains of corn are now cultivated specifically as popping corns.

Popcorn was first discovered thousands of years ago by Native Americans. It is one of the oldest forms of corn: evidence of popcorn from 3600 B.C. was found in New Mexico and even earlier evidence dating to perhaps as early as 4700 BC was found in Peru.

Air-popped popcorn is naturally high in dietary fiber, low in calories and fat, contains no sodium, and is sugar free. This can make it an attractive snack to people with dietary restrictions on the intake of calories, fat, and/or sodium.

Day 72: India Pale Ale from Beaver's River

You may or may not know that I have a particular sweet spot for India Pale Ales. Something about the snap of it, maybe it's the cling of it, maybe it's how it tastes like you are literally out in the middle of the woods. But this one does not disappoint. If you like hoppiness, you'll love this guy.

Evergreen flavors, a bubbly flavour, a dark rich finish. Can't wait to eat it with some nice wild game some day!

On Beau's all Natural Brewing Company

Based in Vanleek Hill, Ontario, the company uses local spring water and doesn't chemically alter it. Because of this the mineral content in the water changes with the seasons.

100% of the malts are certified organic. don’t use malt extracts and add high-glucose corn syrup. 100% of the hops are certified organic.

The approach to freshness is fanatic. They personally deliver beer every week to each individual store and restaurant that carries the beer. They work with restaurants to make every effort to have clean beer lines and small inventories.

On Beaver River India Pale Ale (from company website)

BEAVER•RIVER marries the typical flavour profiles of the British and American interpretations of an India Pale Ale. Expect a bold yet balanced blend of hop bitterness, estery yeast character, and a blend of both citrus and earthy hop aromas.

Tasting Notes

Citrusy & piney-earthy hoppiness complemented by bready maltiness, fruity esters and caramel flavours.

On India Pale Ale (from beaus.ca)

The origins of the India Pale Ale are as exciting as the flavours themselves. During Britain’s occupation of India, British soldiers were guaranteed a ration of 6 pints of beer a day. However the beer would spoil on the long ship ride to India, so brewers were forced to make a few adaptations to give the beer a better chance of surviving the voyage. The essential oils of the hop plant is a natural preservative as is the alcohol. So to help the beer stay good longer, the beer was made with more hops (increasing the bitterness of the beer) and at a higher strength (which also helps keep the beer tasting balanced, as the extra malts needed to increase alcohol also adds sweetness). The resulting beer was very strong and flavourful.

Fast forward to the early days of craft brewing in North America. Innovative pioneers in the United States and Canada began brewing flavourful, high quality beer intended to provide an alternative to bland, corn-syrup laden mass produced beer that dominated the beer industry. Their experimentation led them to the traditional IPA style. They also began using hops that grew in North America, which tended to be more assertive in flavour and aroma. This led to what is now commonly referred to as an American-style IPA.

Day 71: Double Devon Cream

Sweet, silky on the tongue. Characteristically milky - it tastes like the milk I remember when I was a kid. But it is still firm enough until it just melts on your tongue and envelopes your taste buds.

Amazing on home made freshly baked scones, or even just plain fresh fruits.

On Double Devon Cream (from englishtea.us)

Devonshire is in the south of England, on the coast, and well known for it’s very rich and creamy dairy products.

Double Devon cream is just as it sounds. It is the creamiest of the cream from the Devonshire Jersey cow! It’s really not whipped – it’s just so thick that a knife can stand up in it! It comes close to butter, but has a unique creamy flavor that differs from butter. It can be used on scones, crumpets, fresh fruit - pretty much a topping for any dessert also including pies, muffins, waffles, pancakes.... it can be added into pasta to add a richness.

You will often find that clotted cream and double devon are used interchangeably, but there is quite a difference between Devonshire Clotted Cream and Double Devon Cream.

The process of making Clotted Cream is very extensive involving leaving it in a warm area for hours, allowing it to sour a bit, and the cream forms a bit of a skin and turns yellowy and clotted. Then, it is carefully scooped from the top of pan and stored for a time in a cool place.

Apparently, fresh Clotted Cream is impossible to find in Canada. That’s because it’s a very specialized art, and requires a Jersey cow that produces a rich, fatty milk. The only Devonshire Clotted Cream you will find is imported in jars. But in England it is delivered fresh.

Day 70: Schlitz Strong Beer

First thought - given it's almost a liter of beer per bottle, I love the pop bottle cap so that you can put it on right after and keep the fizz. And the price was ~$3.50 for a 940mL. So it's a good 20% cheaper than a domestic beer. So well priced.

I was also curious about why they had chosen 946mL for a bottle size. Seemed random? It's one US quart.

The taste light, especially for what they define as a "strong" beer at 6% alc. The texture is velvety. The taste is sweet, a little bit like maraschino cherry. Ah, after a few sips you realize why it's called a "strong" beer - it does start to take a toll on the inner cheeks.

Not bad for the price point. I also found out, through research, that Schlitz was once the largest brewery in the world! I'll admit that I never even heard of it, so incredible how it declined. Basically, its decline started in 1982, hurt by the rise of high-volume light beers such as Miller Lite and Bud Light, a direction Schlitz did not aggressively pursue. The once strong Schlitz brand was relegated to cheap beer or "bargain brand" status and became increasingly difficult to find in bars and restaurants, especially after the draft version was discontinued in 2001.

Thankfully it has since been revived because this is great value in the bottle.

On Schlitz Brewery:

The Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company was an American brewery based in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and was once the largest producer of beer in the world. Its namesake beer, Schlitz, was known as "The beer that made Milwaukee famous" and was famously advertised with the slogan "When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer". Schlitz first became the world's top beer producer in 1902 and enjoyed that status at several points during the first half of the twentieth century, exchanging the claim with Anheuser-Busch multiple times during the 1950s.

The company was founded by August Krug in 1849 but acquired by Joseph Schlitz in 1858. Schlitz was bought by Stroh Brewery Company in 1982 and subsequently sold along with the rest of Stroh's assets to the Pabst Brewing Company in 1999.

The beer also became available in Ontario, Canada, brewed by Stroh's Brewing, a subsidiary of Sleeman Breweries.

Day 69: Buttermilk Pancakes

If you ever have the opportunity to make these (or you know someone that can), they come out infinitely better than any pancake you can get at a restaurant. I don't know why they can't replicate this at a restaurant. But the softness of them feels like you are eating clouds - sweet sweet lovely clouds. Attached is a recipe that you can use to make them (from allrecipes.com)

3 cups all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons white sugar

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

3 cups buttermilk

1/2 cup milk

3 eggs

1/3 cup butter, melted

Directions

In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together buttermilk, milk, eggs and melted butter. Keep the two mixtures separate until you are ready to cook.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. You can flick water across the surface and if it beads up and sizzles, it's ready!

Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture, using a wooden spoon or fork to blend. Stir until it's just blended together. Do not over stir! Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/2 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

Day 68: Beer aged in Scotch Barrels

Innis and Gunn (as per the previous post) have aged this incredible tasting beer in barrels which were previously used for aging 18-year old single malt scotch. Recall that the original beer is aged in Rum casks. (Day 30)

What comes through is a marshmallowy, caramelly, dark and oaky flavour. It's like the opening of a great Brahms symphony, with the dark and deep double bass (from the scotch), pulling in tension against the high and vibrant tones of the violin (from the malt), ever rising. Sometimes a great beer can make you get melodramatic, so apologies if it's coming off as such.

On Innis & Gunn Highland Cask 18 (from company website):

This special bottling of Innis & Gunn has been matured in oak barrels which had previously been used to mature 18 year old single malt Scotch Whisky from the famed Highlands region of Scotland.

The result of this unique maturation is a smooth, complex and warming beer with notes of vanilla and toffee.

And a little about the brewery:

It all began when a famous whisky distiller contacted Master Brewer Dougal Sharp to tell him

that they wanted to produce an ale-finished whisky. Many other brewers and distillers had tried to make ale finished whisky but none had succeeded. Dougal proposed a special recipe and a special technique. He created a unique ale to impart a smooth, beery character to the oak barrels. This would in turn flavour the maturing whisky. The distillers were delighted that the process worked and the resulting Ale Cask reserve Whisky was a real success.

It was only many months later, after thousands of gallons of beer had been used to season the oak barrels (then tragically, thrown away), that Dougal received a call that would change everything. “You have got to taste this beer that we are pouring away. The workers have sampled it and they say it tastes absolutely delicious,”

They were right. The first tasting of this ‘oak barrel’ beer was an unforgettable moment – it was delicious, and had a flavour unlike any beer Dougal had ever tasted. It had been completely transformed by its time in the special barrels used at the distillery.And it wasn’t just Dougal who thought something special had been discovered. At the brewery tasting panel the beer scored an unprecedented nine out of nine! Now, Dougal believed so strongly in the potential of this unique discovery that he promptly quit his job so that he could concentrate on perfecting the process and bringing Innis & Gunn to market.

In short he demonstrated himself what he could see in the beer, real character.

What followed was one whole year of long days and late nights, all in the name of refining and

perfecting this pioneer beer. When the launch finally came, a whole new oak aged beer style was born. Beer drinkers loved the delicious flavour and so did beer judges who showered Innis & Gunn with awards. From then on we have been travelling the world introducing as many people as possible to the unique flavour of our oak aged beer. But that isn’t the end of the story. In fact Innis & Gunn Original was only the beginning. More beers of character now regularly join the Innis & Gunn family. You can find out all about these in ‘The Range’ section of this site. And it’s even available on draught now too.

So there you have it, the story of Innis & Gunn. An inspiring tale of one man who showed his

character in the quest for a beer that would reveal a unique character all of it’s own.

And now it’s the choice of drinkers of character too.

Day 67: Gluten Free Beer

Nickel Brook Gluten Free Taste - yikes... yikes yikes yikes... now that is a kick in the groin. Real bitter - one that bites and lingers and just stays on all parts of your mouth. A pure sort of bitter. Maybe it is pure hops. I can see from the ingredient list that there is no malt or barley or wheat in it. Interesting. There is a distinct lacking of depth to the flavour, but what's neat is that you are kind of deconstructing the flavour of beer by isolating the taste of hops. Interesting. But a kick in the groin nonetheless.

On gluten-free beers:

Gluten-free beer is beer made from ingredients that do not contain glycoproteins (gluten). Gluten can be found in many common cereal grains including barley and wheat. Of gluten-free products, beer is seen as the most difficult to produce in a commercially acceptable version. However, gluten-free beer is becoming increasingly available, and there is now a range of ales and lagers to choose from.

Still, while pleased with how the brew turned out, brewmaster Peter Romano admits it's not the first thing he reaches for in the fridge. “I think we did a pretty good job, but you're never going to be able to capture that malt flavour without using malt. I enjoy it, but there are other beers I enjoy more — I'm not going to lie to you.”